Anorak News | Not Waving But Drowning

Not Waving But Drowning

by | 2nd, December 2003

‘MANCHESTER United need a new striker. Roy Keane tells the Mail that his club need a new striker. So the club are out there right now looking.

”I’m mad for it, me”

By January they will have plucked one of the small lads who kicks balls around the perimeter of Old Trafford to play up front.

And don’t doubt it. Alex Ferguson has told the world, via the Star, that he’d rather win the title with homegrown stars than buy it.

“I’ve had satisfaction when we put faith in young players and I don’t think you can get better satisfaction than that,” says the unlovely one.

Manchester lads Ruud van Nistelrooy, Rio Ferdinand and Kleberson are all proof the streets of Manchester are blessed with some outstanding talent – just look at Phil Neville and Manchester City.

And talking of Lancashire lad Rio Ferdinand, the Mirror says that the hearing into why he failed to take a mandatory drugs test will be heard at Bolton’s Reebok stadium on December 18 and 19.

Of course, with only a couple of weeks’ notice, Rio may well forget to attend. His phone might not work. A mini-earthquake might erupt outside his front door. He might suddenly develop agoraphobia.

While one spoilt, cosseted footballer wonders what further ills will befall him – and a sudden bout of Alzheimer’s remains a possibility – the Express spots someone waving in the waters off Sri Lanka.

He’s already waved twice and is just about to wave for a third time when the England’s cricket captain, Michael Vaughan, spots him.

The water rat is revealed to be Worcestershire off-spinner Gareth Batty. He’s not waving as signal for some new gloves or a refreshing orange drink. He is waving because he is drowning.

Taking a dip in the ocean last Sunday, Batty was swept up by a current.

“The current whacked me onto the rocks – they were hellish sharp – and when I tried to get up another wave knocked me over again,” says Batty.

Thankfully he is okay, saved by Vaughan, who bravely managed to wave hard enough to attract the attention of a group of lifeguards.’

Posted: 2nd, December 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink