Anorak News | Scent Packing

Scent Packing

by | 4th, December 2003

‘AT first glance, you would probably say that Celine Dion and Jason Leonard had little in common.

We know exactly how you feel, Celine

The Canadian warbler certainly has not packed down in a record 113 Tests for her country, while the English prop is still waiting for his invitation to sing at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas.

After years of scrummaging against the world’s best front-row forwards, Jason’s ears have taken on the appearance of a cauliflower, while Celine’s nose has a more rhubarbesque quality.

But similarities they do have, as we soon notice when we meet them both in the pages of this week’s Hello! Can you, for instance, tell the two apart from the following offerings?

”The biggest gift you can give yourself is to have a child,” says Interviewee A. ”We love our son so much it often seems as if it’s impossible to love any more.”

”The caps record and winning the World Cup are very nice,” says Interviewee B, ”but they pale into insignificance compared with the arrival of my child.”

Uncanny, isn’t it? We will tell you at the end from whose mouth each quote derived, but before that we should draw your attention to the fact that Celine has just launched her own signature scent.

”I never thought my nose would be good for anything else but breathing and singing [and as a perch for a small family of blue tits],” she says, ”but it has been wonderful to learn that, just like a song, a perfume is comprised of notes which form their own melody.

”For the past 22 years, I’ve been trying to reach people through my music and now I want to go a bit further. I want to touch their souls.”

Unkinder critics than us might suggest that the real purpose behind Celine’s new scent is so that even deaf people have a reason to dislike her.

But we like to think we are above such barbs, even after having been forced to listen to My Heart Will Go On for the 1,033rd time.

Instead, we turn back to Jason and ask how long it will be before the world’s most capped rugby player launches his own fragrance.

We are sure that it will be wonderful for him to learn that, just like a rugby scrum, a perfume is comprised of many different elements all pushing in the same direction.

And like a rugby scrum, Jason’s signature scent will have an aroma of mud, sweat and blood.’

Posted: 4th, December 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink