Anorak News | Teenage Ticks

Teenage Ticks

by | 8th, December 2003

‘RUB your temples, close your eyes and imagine a 16-year-old Tony Blair.

”It might surprise you to learn that at school I was something of the little, fat shit”

He’s rolled his socks up, pulled on his best pair of shorts and spritzed his hair and armpits. And now he’s telling the other boys about the wonderful world of politics.

They think it’s the coolest thing since snow and want a part of it. Yet again Tony has won the day with his manifesto.

“Yes!” he’s tells, the captain of the school rugby team, with politics you can win the World Cup.

“Yes!” he replies to the young viscount, my revolution will allow you to keep your land and a seat in the new-look Lords.

And “Yes”, he tells the unlovely, politics will make you more attractive to girls.

The future Lord Falconer of Thornton hears the call and he likes it. But he notes that you cannot vote at 16.

So years later, when Tony has been good to his word – when England have won the World Cup and Falconer has a seat in the Lords and the pick of Tony’s all-female shortlists – he sets out to make things right.

Falconer tells the Independent, in his role of Secretary of State for Constitutional Affairs, that he is thinking about giving 16-year-olds the vote.

And why? Because, as the headline says, he and Tony want to “end voter apathy”.

“If we want to engage young people and make them discharge their responsibilities, then I think there’s got to be a quid pro quo of letting them see greater influence in the political process,” he says. So give them the right to vote.

Just as Lord Falconer and his cool chums all those moons ago suddenly had the right to have sex.

And just like that desperate band doubtless discovered, just because it’s legal doesn’t mean many teenagers will actually do it…’

Posted: 8th, December 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink