Anorak News | Holly Go Dearly

Holly Go Dearly

by | 10th, December 2003

‘BEING collectively blessed with a GCSE in geography, we know that it often “rains” and is “wet”. We know that at other times the “sun” shines and it is “hot”.

An expensive piece of Holly

And when there is “thunder” and there is “lightning”, we have what is known as a “storm”.

And storms (try to stay with it – this is your future we’re talking about here) have become twice a prevalent in the last 50 years due to climate change.

The Guardian takes our class on a step further, and for those budding Michael Fishes and Ulrika Jonssons out there, there is much talk of “North Atlantic oscillations”, “millibars” and “depression”.

For the rest of you, there is now the right to move onto the Times’ A-level is Christmas Studies.

And news is that thanks to climate change the price for holly has risen sharply from 75p to a staggering £4 a pound.

Such is the drama of this situation that the paper tells us that the lack of holly has been addressed in the BBC radio series The Archers.

Those of you with degrees in engineering can “tune in” your “radio sets” and catch what the everyday farming folk think about it all.

Others (at least, those of you who can “read”) will have make do with the paper, and hear a load of holly buyers moan about how terrible things are and a load of holly sellers say how things have never been better.

This is known as economics. And the module you’ve just passed with flying colours is called “supply and demand”.

Now, for a bonus degree in English, see if you can use the words “supply” and “demand” in the following sentence: “The ****** teachers are rubbish and the parents and voters are starting to ****** better ones.”’

Posted: 10th, December 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink