Anorak News | Hard Time

Hard Time

by | 15th, December 2003

‘IN Soccer’s Hard Men, Vinnie Jones was the eponymous hard man.

”Is that a weapon I see before me?”

In Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Vinnie was a hard man. In Mean Machine, Vinnie Jones once more adopted the grunts and knuckle-dragging demeanour of a hard man.

And now, in the Express, Vinnie Jones, the footballer who conquered Hollywood, is showing his full range. Vinnie is an upset hard man.

We imagine that he is chiefly upset because he became embroiled in a row with another passengers aboard an aircraft and told a cabin crew member: “I can get you murdered, I can get the whole crew murdered for £3,000.”

Jones would not do the murders himself, but hire a person or persons to do his killing and maiming for him. The hard man was already showing signs of mellowing.

He then went before the beak and was rewarded for this threat with 80 hours’ community service, a punishment he calls “humiliating and degrading”.

That is pretty much the intention of the thing. But Vinnie clearly thinks it’s worth pointing it out. Perhaps he is a special case? Let’s listen and see…

“Stress builds up in me like a volcano and then I explode,” says Vinnie. “I’m a Jekyll and Hyde character”.

Er, no, Vinnie, your character is pretty much all Mr Hyde. The Jekyll part went to Nicolas Cage…’

Posted: 15th, December 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink