Anorak News | No Place Like Home

No Place Like Home

by | 19th, December 2003

”’HE tumbled down stairs, rolled on barrels and even rode a scooter in his cub days,” reports the Times.

”An old boot. How I miss Richard and Judy!”

We know how he feels. But the cub in question is not a cub reporter, but an American black bear called Fred.

He is the last circus bear in Britain, and is now about to retire to the Bear With Us sanctuary in Ontario, Canada, where life is about as good as it gets for bears of a certain age.

He won’t have a bicycle there, but there will be compensations.

”He’ll even have his own swimming pool,” says Phillip Linbury of the World Society For The Protection Of Animals, who sorted out Fred’s new gaff.

It all sounds grand, and we wish Fred well. But at the back of our minds, we can’t help wondering if it’s really for the best.

Sure he’ll have trees, and pools, and bins full of discarded hamburgers in the local town. But from time to time he’ll sit down and reflect on his old life.

He’ll remember his owner. Mr Mackie, and the 10ft by 30ft wagon he used to call home.

He’ll remember waking to the smell of a full English breakfast on a cold morning, with GMTV followed by Kilroy on the telly.

He’ll think of Jonny Wilkinson, Tony Blair, Sir Mick Jagger and Ben Elton. And he’ll say to himself: ”I didn’t know how lucky I was.”

Count your blessings, those of you lucky enough to live in this dear old country of ours.

And any foreigners reading this – don’t even think about it. We’re an overcrowded little island as it is, and our tolerant nature is being tested to the limit.’

Posted: 19th, December 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink