Killer Wales?

‘THROUGHOUT history, murderers have not always conformed to the stereotypical image of a crazed killer.

Facing life at Mummy’s pleasure?

Ted Bundy was the family man, John Christie the respectable academic and Jeffrey Dahmer the meat lover – all masked their bloodlust behind a wall of everyday blandness.

But now we have a more unlikely killer than even they. The Mirror brings news that the man Princess Diana thought was trying to off her was none other than…Prince Charles.

The paper has reproduced what the odious Paul Burrell claims to be an ‘insurance’ note given to him by Diana for safekeeping.

It runs: ‘This particular phase of my life is the most dangerous – my husband is planning ‘an accident’ in my car, brake failure & serious head injury in order to make the path clear for him to marry.’

You can imagine Diana listening in as Charles discusses his alleged plot with a begonia – or, perhaps, given that the paper notes that at the time of the note’s writing Diana was ‘plagued with insecurities’, the plant began to talk to her.

These are things that, in truth, we will never know since Diana did die in a car accident, although not one in which her own car was involved.

But the biggest shock must be that in Diana’s mind Prince Charles had the capacity to contemplate a killing, let alone actually strap on a boiler suit and tinker with a car’s workings.

Charles the killer is as far-fetched as hearing that Prince Eddie has won an Oscar, Princess Anne has married a horse and Prince Andrew has become useful.

And it is a notion that Frederick Forsyth is quick to dismiss, saying in the Mail how even he, the master crime fiction writer, could not have dreamt up anything as outlandish as this.

He reminds us ‘that the successful murder of a famous figure is far easier said than done’.

‘Those who think it is piece of cake have been watching too many bad TV movies,’ he says.

Or reading too many bad books written by odd little ex-butlers…’

Posted: 6th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink