Anorak News | Bully For You

Bully For You

by | 7th, January 2004

‘MORE Manchester United bashing now as the Sun brings news that Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of said team, is a “bully”.

Poster on Sol Campbell’s bedroom wall

The man telling tales on the red-faced one is Chris Coleman, coach of Fulham, and someone upset at Ferguson’s attempts to prise away striker Louis Saha.

“People are trying to bully us into selling one of our players,” says Coleman. “I don’t like bullies. And I don’t like being bullied.”

There then follows the Sun’s usual boring dissection about the state of Manchester United.

Steve Curry, the paper’s chief sports writer, produces an article, ostensibly about who Fergie wants to buy but one that allows him to make a tired pun on the old Bend It Like Beckham headline; this one reads: “Bend It Like, Er, The Boss.”

Those seeking relief from the Sun’s United review should turn to the Mirror’s interview with Arsenal’s Freddie Ljungberg.

Just listen to the headline: “You won’t catch me having an affair with Ulrika..or with Sol Campbell.”

Not catching someone is not the same as their not doing it, but we take the comments in the spirit in which, we believe, they are intended and read on.

But rather than listen to the Swede’s answers, cock an ear to the questions. Indeed, make up your own replies, it’s more fun.

“Did the John Leslie scandal damage her [Ulrika’s] reputation back home?”; “Can you see the attraction of Ms Jonsson”; “What is really better – a great goal or great sex?”; “You can confirm that you can Sol Campbell are not an item?”; and “Is the Daily Mirror your preferred newspaper?”

While you and your friends supply your own answers to those questions (and do send us your choicest), the Sun looks at the new British tennis sensation coming to Wimbledon.

Sadly the star will not arrive until 2009; and sadder still that it is not a man or woman with championship qualities but a retractable roof.

Once the roof is slid into position, rain will no longer break play and beneath the canopy the temperature will stay at a constant 24C.

The roof will also negate the need for Union Jack umbrellas, comedy top hats and, most deliciously of all, Sir Cliff Richard.’

Posted: 7th, January 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink