Anorak News | Who Ate All The Pies?

Who Ate All The Pies?

by | 13th, January 2004

‘JUST when you thought television could not get any flabbier along comes another series of Celebrity Fit Club.

Vanessa had a bit of help in the ‘catch a peanut’ competition

And who are the unfit fat ones waiting to turn fat into fit?

Step forward, jump up and down the on the spot and gasp for breath, Alison Hammond, Freddie Starr, Jono Coleman, James Whitaker, Lowri Turner, John Forgeham and (a large roll with extra cheese on the drums) Vanessa Feltz.

Like you, we did not instantly know who many of these people are.

However, extensive research has revealed that Hammond was once on Big Brother, Starr is not what he nominally claims to be, Turner is a shorter female Paul Ross, Forgeham has a name that incorporates a cut of pig, Whittaker is the beetroot red royal correspondent, Coleman is a lardy Australian and Feltz is…

We leave the description of La Feltz open because she was recently on TV in conversation with Victoria Wood. The comedienne was talking about weight and Feltz was held up as some kind of victim of how cruel people can be.

As such, we have no truck with those who make fun of the woman. We can only say that Fetlz has hit upon the ideal way to look thinner: to cultivate a fatter peer group and immerse herself within them.

For those who cannot wait until tonight’s exercises, Vanessa has also released an exercise video, which is available in a discreet brown paper wrapping.’

Posted: 13th, January 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink