Anorak News | To Boldly Go

To Boldly Go

by | 15th, January 2004

‘LIKE large parts of Texas, the moon is covered in dust, is inhospitable to human life and is a land far removed from this world.

”How far to Houston?”

So Texan George Bush wants to go there, or at least he wants to send American astronauts to Earth’s one non-US made satellite in a new Nasa spacecraft known as the Crew Exploration Vehicle.

The CEV – which sounds like a new Honda rather than the last word in space travel – will, according to the Guardian, be at the vanguard of what Bush calls the spirit of ”continued exploration…seeking new horizons”.

If that sounds a little Star Trek in tone and language, then rest assured it is probably meant to be. And for Trekkies everywhere, here’s some more of Bush’s speech, courtesy of special guest star, the Independent.

”We will build new ships to carry man forward into the universe, to gain a new foothold on the moon, and prepare for new journeys to the world beyond our own.”

This might translate in some quarters of the White House (and all five corners of the Pentagon) as ”Let’s attack the moon!”

But why stop at the moon? If Bush has heard that Mars is the ”red planet”, he might well be planning a pre-emptive strike to let those commies know who’s the boss.

It’s an interesting thought, especially since Bush is indeed planning a project to land men on Mars, but only after he’s started work on building a permanent base on the moon.

Just listen: ”[An extended presence on the moon] will enable astronauts to develop new technologies and harness the moon’s abundant resources to allow manned exploration of more challenging environments.”

As well as creating the country’s official 51st state (sorry, Tony), it will of course afford George a terrific vantage point from which to shoot at bad people down here on Earth.’

Posted: 15th, January 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink