Anorak News | A Day In The Life

A Day In The Life

by | 16th, January 2004

‘TONY Blair’s baggy eyes stare blankly from the front page of the Guardian. Tony looks into the future and he sees, as the paper sees, that he is approaching his date with destiny.

‘I can’t see Toni winning the next election’

In “24 hours in the life or death of a premiership”, the paper notes how Lord Hutton is to release his report into the death of Dr David Kelly the day after MPs vote on student grants and fees.

The Times also leads with the story of Tony’s congested diary, agreeing that these will be the “24 hours that will decide whether he [Tony] is Prime Minister at the time of the next general election”.

Tony’s days appear to be numbered; and they are numbered at one.

But if only he could turn back the clock. If only Tony could resuscitate the breathless feeling of excitement and love when he showed baby Leo to the watching press, when he wandered out of No.10 with his mug of tea in hand and stripped off his jacket to show off his sopping wet armpits.

Now all he has, in the opinion of the watching Independent, is “patchy colour with shiny bits”. The paper’s Simon Carr has noticed a perceptible shift in the PM’s appearance.

“The upper bit was as stiff as a stiff upper lip,” he writes. “It was so stiff I was thinking Botox. It was the upper lip of a Thunderbird puppet.”

And we know what happened to Thunderbirds…boy, did they ever go!

But what about Botox? After all, a little trout pout never hurt anyone.

Granted it did make actress Leslie Ash a laughing stock, but a strong political operator like Tony could take any criticism on his remodelled chin.

But if Tony is considering a little nip ‘n’ tuck, he should consult Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

The perma-tanned, diminutive leader has, the Times reports, undergone plastic surgery to reinvigorate his flagging features.

Three weeks ago, Berlusconi disappeared from public life. Some thought he was ill, others thought he was dead, a few suspected he was holidaying in Germany.

But yesterday the rumours ended when his doctor reported that the media mogul had undergone a little surgery around his eyes.

Although shocking to some, the Times is swift to state that Berlusconi’s date with the surgeon’s blade will not “raise eyebrows in Italy”.

And if Tony goes for the full facelift, it will not raise eyebrows in No.10 either.’

Posted: 16th, January 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink