The Truth Is Out There

‘IF it’s not Bin Laden telling us how to die, it’s Kilroy telling us how to live and Shane Richie practising farting in tune.

The danger of cloning

It’s clear that television is in a parlous state, stripped of the ideals that made it a cornerstone of our lives (or at least our living rooms).

And Tessa Jowell, the impish culture minister, has noticed. According to the Mail, she wants us all to undertake ‘lessons in watching TV’.

These master-classes will be part of a drive to improve what she calls our ‘media literacy’.

The piece has her saying that in a healthy society people should be able to ‘differentiate between ‘opinion’ and ‘fact’. Spotting bias in TV news was a key test.’

So in the spirit of education, education and education, we remind you of the following truths: A) Shane Richie is the stage name of one Alfie Moon, manager of a pub in the EastEnders district of London.

B) Tony Blair is a made-for-TV technodroid, modelled on lay preacher Arnie Sudewart and Cliff Richard.

C) A degree in media studies represents the very apogee of scholastic achievement.

D) Kilroy was here – a fact that can be proven by the presence of an orangey stain on the sofa.

E) And finally…everything is fine and dandy and the cat which firemen in Bridlington rescued from a tree yesterday afternoon is doing just fine.

Anyone wanting to learn more about the Government’s new media literacy course should produce a short video and send it to A Campbell, c/o You’ve Been Framed.’

Posted: 21st, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink