The Baldwin Truth

”IT’S GETTING UGLIER!’

‘Agh! Is that what you really look like?’

No, not Colin Farrell’s baby son (although if you have the proof, we demand that you show us it!), but the war of words between former husband and wife Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.

The Enquirer says that things have gotten so bad that Hollywood’s former golden couple are rowing over whether Alec has the right to pick up their daughter from his mother’s front door or has to wait at her gate.

That is pretty ugly. Of course, in Hollywood ugly is just a passing phase, and nothing that a little surgical procedure cannot remedy.

However, there is still the thorny issue of what to do while the stitches are healing.

And this is where we can help. In conjunction with the Anorak chapter of the James Farrell Family Fan Club, we bring you the Eazy Farrell, a ready-made mask behind which all cosmetic surgery patients – young, old, small and ‘adorable’ – can hide while their new face gels onto their old superstructure.

And it works! If you don’t want to take our word for it, just listen to what others have been saying.

‘Since I pulled on the Anorak Eazy Farrell Jnr., no-one has called me names or dared even look in my direction’ – C. Schiffer, Iowa.

‘To think how much pain I could have been spared had I had the Anorak Eazy Farrell when I was a young boy growing up in Sligo’ – B. McPudding.

‘Thank you. Anorak! The Eazy Farrell has made me realise that there are people worse off than me. It’s not just a new face – it’s a new way of looking at the world!’ – M. Jackson.

And thank you, Colin and especially you, James, for making it all possible…’

Posted: 23rd, January 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink