Anorak News | Where Anglers Fear To Tread

Where Anglers Fear To Tread

by | 2nd, February 2004

‘FEARFUL of incurring the wrath of Tony Blair, various ageing Law Lords and the MoD, it’s not just reporters of the BBC that are playing it safe.

‘Anyone know where I can get an Uzi?’

Rather than take on the Government’s dogs of war, the Mail’s Sue Reid found her scoop when she bought an Uzi sub-machine gun over the Internet.

For any watching villains and would-be mass murderers out there, Reid lets it be known that she paid £450 for the gun and the entire process took just 20 minutes.

Of course, the speed of transaction was aided by the fact that Uzis come in just one colour (black), and that this was a deactivated weapon, so not an illegal firearm at all, unless Reid brandishes it in the street.

It’s a kind of non-story, a bogus dossier, a red herring, call it what you will. And so not unlike the Mirror’s expose of Jamie Oliver’s restaurant, Fifteen.

The Mirror’s man who dares is Ryan Parry. Yes, that is the same reporter who played the part of a Palace footman and then exposed the Queen’s breakfast table to an unsuspecting world.

This time Parry’s out selling salmon from the back of his motor.

And the story is that, whereas staff loyal to Raymond Blanc, the ooompah-loopah Anthony Worrall Thompson and Rick Stein questioned the authenticity of the fish before rejecting it, Jamie’s food buyers asked no questions and handed over the cash.

The recent furore about the health of our native salmon – this one had a broad Scots accent – makes this an unsavoury matter (although Oliver does claim the fish was only to be used for training purposes).

But while the Mirror was angling for a story, the Express’ Ruth Hilton was in Australia re-enacting some of the tests Jordan has faced in her jungle experience on TV’s I’m A Celebrity…

And having eaten cockroaches, witchety grubs, been slithered on by a snake and infested with bugs, Hilton concludes that this was a “once-in-a-lifetime experience”.

And so it would seem to have been for all these intrepid reporters, who must almost be ready to face their greatest challenge – asking Tony Blair a question.

Will they survive?’

Posted: 2nd, February 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink