Anorak News | Dogs Of War

Dogs Of War

by | 3rd, February 2004

‘EVEN without Hitler and the Lidl supermarket chain, Britain is still blessed with a smattering of Teutonic influence on high.

‘Little kid, five o’clock. Go!’

We speak of course of our beloved Royal Family, who today make the revered pages of the Express.

The paper hears that the Queen has offered to pay compensation to a royal maid who was bitten on the knee (where else do you bite a housemaid?) by a bull terrier belonging to Princess Anne.

The Queen is said to raiding her pension and looking down the back of her sofa in an effort to find the necessary £1,000 she believes is owed to one Ruby Brooker.

It’s an extra drain on finances an elderly women can ill afford, what with the ever-rising council tax bills and all. But the Queen is said to be very keen to play her role as responsible employer to the full and will drum up the cash.

As for the maid’s attacker, Florence Windsor, she is to undergo the same training as her fellow snapper, Dotty, who in 2002 attacked two children in Windsor Great Park.

The incident, much like the war, will then not be mentioned again in decent society…’

Posted: 3rd, February 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink