Anorak News | Her Two Brains

Her Two Brains

by | 13th, February 2004

‘AS Jordan would agree, you can never have too much Jordan.

Jordan’s brains scored a FF in GCSE maths

The model who takes up almost as many column inches as she does square inches is planning to conquer America.

The plan is for a two-pronged assault on the American music scene, as Jordan plans to use what pals call her “golden throat” to good use.

Linda Lovelace has nothing on the glamour girl, who is driven to achieve her one remaining ambition and record a hit song.

She could go into acting. But, her manager, Dave Read, is on hand to tell us that despite many offers, his client is not all that interested in being a thespian.

“It’s singing that she loves,” says Read.

Instantly, we who saw her performances in I’m A Celebrity realise that a duet with her ‘was he/wasn’t he’ lover Peter Andre is one option.

But Our Love Is Insania by Jordandre will have to wait, at least a while, since Golden Tonsils plans to forgo the diminutive Australian and team up with a top American record producer.

“She wants the American know-how that makes No.1s for the likes of Britney, Christina Aguilera and Pink,” says one source. “America is her dream.”

And she might just make it her reality since the Enquirer is of the opinion that Jordan is something of the post-feminist icon.

“There are brains behind those boobs!” the magazine says.

It’s an interesting thought, although we are more comfortable with the notion that Jordan’s stuffing is made of some sort of man-made gel.’

Posted: 13th, February 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink