Bearing False Witness

‘“POSH: THEY ARE FALSE,” announces the Star. “72 per cent of Brits say she HAS had a boob job.”

100% of you said you’d rather see this than a picture of Posh’s chest

That’s 72 per cent of those who voted, by the way. And in case you are wondering who these public-spirited voters are, the paper provides a vox pop, complete with pictures.

The women give considered opinions. Kate Westwood from Solihull says she doesn’t like Posh, but thinks her breasts are “far more subtle than Jordan’s”, which she describes as “ridiculous”.

Eleanor Kilner – a student of astrophysics, and so ideally qualified to comment – says Posh looks great, and believes that the surgeon did a great job if they are false.

The men are less inclined to get bogged down in detail. Trainee cabbie Glen McNeil reckons that “men don’t care, as long as they’re boobs”.

Ian Ward from Bromsgrove says that he “couldn’t care less what she does”, but thinks she probably has had them done.

But the last word goes to Kathy Lette, the fun-loving punster and author of chucklesome novels such as Mad Cow and Nip’n’Tuck.

“Her boobs are so big that it’s not that she’s had breast implants, it’s more that her breasts have had a Posh implant,” quips the Australian genius, whose talent is so big that it’s not that she has had lots of brilliant ideas, it’s more that lots of brilliant ideas have had Kathy Lette. Or something.

Anyway, the people have spoken, and we can move on to more pressing issues…’

Posted: 26th, February 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink