Anorak News | Order Of The Boot

Order Of The Boot

by | 26th, February 2004

‘THE FOOTBALL authorities are looking into arrangements for a mid-season break, on the grounds that players are supposedly exhausted at the end of a long English season, and are thus unable to win international tournaments in the summer.

Warming the boots for Romeo

But there is another underlying theme too. Modern players just don’t like playing in the winter.

Under-soil heating has consigned scenes of snow-covered pitches, orange balls and plimsolls to the dustbin of history.

All the same, teams now make formal complaints when the conditions don’t suit them. And it’s not just football: a Scottish rugby team recently refused to play at all because it was “too cold”.

Now Manchester United have taken things a step further. Not only is the home dug-out heated, but United players now enjoy a boot-warming service.

“A lot of the players from overseas were complaining that the boots weren’t comfortable when they put them on because they were too cold,” an insider tells the Sun.

The solution? Electric pegs “costing thousands of pounds”. Oh, and a full-time attendant to ensure that boots fit correctly.

Of course, having Fergie kick a hot boot at your face might be even more traumatic than a cold one, but that’s a risk the players seem prepared to take.

One question remains, though. Where does Jordan fit into this story?

The answer is on page 8 – “The Sun says”. What next for the pampered millionaires, asks the paper: “Mink-lined shorts? Or Jordan to peel their oranges at half-time?”

Or, more likely in these diet-conscious times, their bananas.’

Posted: 26th, February 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink