Buttocks Injection

‘NO sooner has the controversy about Janet Jackson’s boob flash during half-time at the Superbowl died down then another of America’s biggest TV spectacles is hit by more gratuitous nudity.

The Tin Man had dressed up specially for the occasion

Surely, no-one who watched the 76th Academy Awards could not have failed to notice the many bare bottoms (both big and small) on display in the Kodak Theatre.

And despite the ceremony being broadcast with a five-second delay for the first time, these buttocks were not only much in evidence but also regularly took centre stage.

Of course, it helped that not only were they pert and made of gold but they belonged to Oscar, the statuette that has made even more appearances than Bob Hope at the annual luvviefest.

As for the awards themselves, the Telegraph celebrates by putting what must almost be a lifesize picture of Best Actress Charlize Theron on its front page.

Theron may be the toast of South Africa for her achievement, but the Guardian says the real winners were the Australasians.

Echoing Colin Welland’s much derided pronouncement when picking up an Oscar for Chariots Of Fire in 1982, ‘The Brits are coming’, the paper warns that the Antipodeans are already there.

Not only did Lord Of The Rings win all the 11 Oscars for which it was nominated (prompting Billy Crystal to quip, ‘It’s now official – there’s no-one left in New Zealand to thank’), but the Aussies and Kiwis were much in evidence elsewhere.

‘Even the winner of the best short animated film grew up on a shrimp farm in South Australia,’ the paper says.

They beat us at cricket, they have better weather than us, they have perter bums than us, they wear tighter shorts than us and they make better films than us.

But don’t fret – we’ve got Rolf Harris and Jono Coleman…and we’re not giving them back.’

Posted: 2nd, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink