Anorak News | Barking Mad

Barking Mad

by | 5th, March 2004

‘AT the risk of offending about 6 million of you, Crufts (BBC2) is a show designed to make fusty women who summon their dogs in loud shrill voices feel that they are not alone.

Foufou and her new potty

They are part of a gang. It’s a nationwide movement and it’s coming to Birmingham’s NEC centre in a fleet of ageing estate cars with grills separating the boot from the car’s human areas.

If Crufts were smell-o-vision, it would stink. Not in the same way that, say, Hollyoaks stinks, but in a way that gets into your clothes and on your food.

You might have guessed that dog lovers we are not.

Dogs are animals that through generations of in-breeding have reached the heady heights of being able to roll over on their backs at the scream of a command word, and not always in their own excrement.

Yet still they are famed among a certain type for their intelligence. Since such a quality is relative, we can only wonder at the mental capacity of the family Joyce (most dog lovers are called Joyce) left behind.

But, then, they have to put up with her. And would you want to communicate with a women who kisses her “baby” to bed – with tongues?’

Posted: 5th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink