Anorak News | The Battle Of The Sexes

The Battle Of The Sexes

by | 5th, March 2004

‘IT is interesting that there are very few men among the feuding couples in the Who Hates Who In Hollywood guide.

‘The only thing above the belt is his hair,’ complains Paula ‘The Mauler ‘ Abdul

In fact, the only guy-on-guy action comes from Bill Murray and Chevy Chase who have been nursing a mutual antipathy since coming to blows backstage at Saturday Night Live 30 years ago.

Otherwise, the only male interest is provided by Bill Cosby, who is slated to take on Sharon Osbourne, Simon Cowell who will pull his boxing trunks up to his armpits and slug it out with Paula Abdul and patriotic country singer Toby Keith, who fancies going mano a mano with The Dixie Chicks’ Natalie Maines.

Sharon Osbourne’s beef with Cosby stems from a comment he made, branding the MTV reality clan “a sad, sad family”.

That is as may be, but they do have the advantage of being quite amusing, which is something that could never be said of the serially unfunny father of the fictional Huxtable clan.

And we tip Mrs O to take only a couple of rounds to put the man she has described as “an old fart and a hypocrite” on the canvas.

If Paula Abdul is as slow with her dukes as she is with her tongue, we fear that she will not survive the first round against Cowell.

When Cowell told her on the American Idol show, “I wouldn’t be excited if you stood naked in front of me”, she could only hit back with a lame, “Well, that’s a given”.

With the honours even in the first two male v female bouts, it is down to Keith and Maines to fight it out in The Battle Of The Sexes.

At Anorak, we must confess that we have never heard of Toby Keith before, but the title of one of his songs Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue is enough to make us instantly hate him.

Time and space prevent us from publishing the full lyrics to the song, but a couple of verses should be enough to get the gist.

“My daddy served in the army,

Where he lost his right eye.

But he flew a flag out in our yard ’til the day that he died.

He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me

To grow up and live happy in the land of the free.

”Now this nation that I love has fallen under attack.

A mighty sucker punch came flying in from somewhere in the back.

Soon as we could see clearly through our big black eye,

Man we lit up your world like the Fourth of July.”

Go for it, Natalie. We’re right behind you, gal…’

Posted: 5th, March 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink