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Peacock And Hen

by | 5th, March 2004

‘IT wasn’t exactly Romeo and Juliet (more like George and Mildred), but the Street’s most love-struck pair finally got together – warming the cockles of millions of old ladies’ hearts across the country.

Ashley and Claire were meant to be together

Claire, Ashley’s nanny, had been offered another job with a car and trip to Florida thrown in. “I think you should take it,” Ashley told her. “She can offer you things that I can’t.” Well, it’s unlikely that she could offer Claire the one thing that she wanted: a big tongue sarnie.

“I can’t believe you’re letting her go – I said I can’t believe it,” Fred told his son in his typical forthright (and repetitive) manner. “You two need your heads banging together.”

In the end, however, it was Audrey who persuaded Ashley to follow his heart. “Maxine’s gone, lovey, and she’s never going to come back” – however much she begs producers to take her back once her panto work dries up.

Claire and Ashley shared their first kiss in his butcher’s shop: surrounded by pounds of dead flesh. Very romantic.

They were surrounded by yet more dead flesh the next day, when Norris and Audrey came up to them to congratulate them. “I hope you’ll be very happy, “ Norris wittered, already mentally picking out his wedding hat.

There’s more romance coming to Weatherfield soon when Todd and Karl get together. Todd’s just found out that Karl’s gay and he’s doing his best to avoid him: methinks the lady doeth protest too much.

“I’m not a gayer!” Todd shouted at him when they conveniently got stuck in a lift together, although in the next breath Todd was telling him how he’d kissed his girlfriend’s brother.

Elsewhere on The Street, mental Maya has finally got Dev to propose to her, firstly by threatening to kill him in a car crash and then by refusing to sleep with him.

Instead of having committed to the nearest mental institution, Dev decided that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Maya excitedly called up her mother to tell her the news. “How tall is he dear?” was the only question her mother asked. It’s clear where Maya gets her mentalness from.

And on the subject of freakish women, according to the tabloids, in a ‘shocking’ new storyline, Cilla is set to be unmasked as a prostitute: she sleeps with someone she owes money to and Fizz reveals that it isn’t the first time she’s done it.

Surely no one in Weatherfield can be shocked to discover that the a woman who voluntarily moves in with Les Battersby has no values or shame whatsoever.’



Posted: 5th, March 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink