Anorak News | Rocking The Cradle

Rocking The Cradle

by | 8th, March 2004

‘IN the future there will no need for wars and fighting, for we will all be too busy humming Mozart’s Divertimento In B flat in a state of catatonic bliss.

The daddy of the peace movement

Plans are already underway to turn mankind into a more peaceful, classically-trained bunch, although the result of the pilot scheme will not be know for around another 16 years, or until such a time when the unborn are able to carry guns.

The Independent says that a concert of Mozart compositions is scheduled to take place later this month in Bristol, and the audience will be made up of babies inside and outside the womb.

This may also mean that women will be present, but some of these mothers-in-waiting could be no more than children themselves and, what with the strides being made in sexual equality and technology, there may even be a few men and grow bags in the cheap seats.

The concert is being produced by Peter Kindersley, of the Dorling Kindersley publishing empire, who is said to believe that music, especially from Mozart’s oeuvre, is able to stimulate alpha brainwaves, so producing feelings of calm.

We will wait and see how the plan develops, but don’t be too surprised if the next invasion of a terror power is backed not by the acidic tunes of Barney The Dinosaur and Phil Collins but Mozart’s Symphony In B Flat, No. 5.’

Posted: 8th, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink