Mission Impossible

‘ANYONE got a few bob to spare? It’s just that Christopher Wilton, our man in Kuwait, is running short of funds.

‘Please give generously’

And if he doesn’t get the necessaries quick smart, he’s gong to be forced to close the British embassy in the desert kingdom for the next three weeks.

‘We’re broke,’ says a memo sent by Wilton to Whitehall mandarins, and seen by the Telegraph.

He says the ‘hopelessly inadequate’ budget means he has no money to pay the wages of local staff.

‘This is the final straw,’ says Wilton. ‘Our compound is already suffering from serious neglect because of a laughably inadequate budget.’

So it’s time to reach deep into your pockets and pull out all you’ve got. And if you can’t give cash, a few tins and some pots and pans will be greatly appreciated.

But don’t send oil, soldiers or sand – Wilton already has those in abundance.’

Posted: 10th, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink