Anorak News | In The Nick Of Time

In The Nick Of Time

by | 14th, March 2004

‘WEATHERFIELD’S serial proposer is at it again: Fred Elliott has found a new victim in the shape of Penny King.

This wasn’t the kind of threesome Maria had been expecting

Penny is the wealthy widow of sweatshop baron Vernon and the one-time mistress of Mike Baldwin. Now that she’s single (and has a pulse), it was inevitable that Fred would get round to proposing marriage to her. Penny was quite taken aback (clearly not knowing our favourite butcher very well) and said that she’d think about it.

When Mike found out, he was amused, “don’t take it personally,” he told her. “He can’t help himself.” Mike changed his tune, however when he realised that Penny may be seriously considering it. “I’m sick of being lonely, Mike,” she told him.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he told her, pulling up a stool to whisper into her ear before whisking her back to his flat. The next morning however, poor Penny discovered that Mike’s intentions towards her may not have been strictly honourable.

“I’m going to have to rush yer,” he told her. “I’m playing golf with the boys. See you sometime next week?”

Things may be looking up for Fred; he might not have to get his money back at H Samuel’s this time after all.

The path of true love is also looking less than smooth for Nick and Maria. Not surprisingly, Maria is finding living with Gail rather difficult. Gail is determined to split the couple up.

“Nick should be out playing the field,” the deranged one told Audrey. “Not tied to a back street hairdresser” – which surely is exactly what Gail’s mother is? And of course, given Gail’s recent marriage to a serial killer, she’s the perfect person to give relationship advice.

Gail had persuaded Nick to spend all his savings on a sports car – savings that were supposed to be going towards a flat deposit. It was the last straw for Maria and she packed her bags and left.

“I ‘ope you to will be very happy together,” she shouted before slamming the door. Maria’s wrong, however, there is someone Nick loves more than his mum and that’s the face he sees in the mirror about 300 times a day.

Nick had the smug smile (wonder where he inherited that) wiped off his face this week though when Mike sacked him from Underworld.

Mike had already caught Nick applying for another job – at Penny King’s factory no less – but had decided that it showed character, so gave him another chance. But Mike took the news that Nick had managed to burn down his factory slightly less well.

In a bid to assert this authority, Nick had decided to ban the factory girls from smoking. Janice didn’t take this terribly well. “I’ll die without me fags!” she screeched without a trace of irony. So when Nick popped out to try and patch things up with Maria, Janice took the opportunity to sneak in a crafty fag in the stock room.

Unfortunately Harry decided to lock the door and in a panic Janice stubbed her cigarette out in a very Primary school manner – actually Primary school kids do a better job. Within seconds, the room was ablaze, fuelled by the amount of quality bri-nylon stock in there.

When he realised that Janice was missing from the roll call, Nick ran in to save her. “I can’t believe what you did for me,” a humble Janice told Nick from hospital. “You saved my life. You could have died.”

Indeed – what was he thinking? Nick is at least eighty percent plywood: one spark could have finished him off.’

Posted: 14th, March 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink