Anorak News | The Elixir Of Youth

The Elixir Of Youth

by | 19th, March 2004

‘IF you have a troublesome grandmother or cantankerous step-mother who refuses to take her cue to shuffle off this mortal coil, read on.

It was to be Cyril’s lucky night

Don’t let the toothless old crone gamble away your inheritance on bingo or blow it all on a septuagenarian toyboy. Hide her sherry!

Yes, it’s not the diet of old age sex and constant complaint that’s keeping the hag alive, but the booze.

Take her sherry from her and she’ll be off your hands quicker than you can say, “Come in, Dr Shipman.”

The Indy has news of a study, conducted unsurprisingly by scientists in Spain, that claims a glass of the fortified wine has similar effects on cholesterol levels as a glass of red wine.

Last year, studies showed that Guinness reduced the risk of blood clots that cause heart attacks – good news for all the Irish celebrating Best Mate’s third Gold Cup win at Cheltenham yesterday.

Now, sherry can be added to the growing list of alcoholic drinks that are good for our health (when consumed in moderation).

“Sherry is widely consumed, especially in Spain and the UK,’ says Juan Guerrero, one of the researchers, ‘and we have shown that its moderate intake decreased total cholesterol and increased high-density lipoprotein cholesterol, which is good for you.”

Conversely, the withdrawal of someone’s daily tot will cause their arteries to clog up quicker than the bookies on pension day.’

Posted: 19th, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink