Devil Has All The Best Tunes

‘WHEN, as frequently happens, the antiquated computers in Anorak Towers crash, we usually respond in time-honoured fashion by banging our hand down on the top of the terminal and uttering imprecations about Bill Gates, creator of the Windows 67 software which we use.

‘C’mon, Debney, if you think you’re hard enough!’

At times, we have been known to include all goggle-eyed geeks, men called Russell and fans of country music in our expletive-studded tirade.

But never so far have we been tempted to blame Satan for our IT shortcomings.

Not so John Debney, composer of the music for Mel Gibson’s The Passion Of The Christ, who claims that Lucifer himself tried to sabotage the movie.

‘I had all these computers and synthesizers in my studio and the hard drives would go down,’ he said.

‘When I was trying to write music to the scene that shows Satan’s face and I had this digital face on my screen, the computer would just freeze on his face.

‘Then the volume would go to 10. It would happen all the time.’

The unenlightened might suspect that Debney had just overloaded his computer, but his explanation that the hardware was in fact possessed by the devil is in fact far more plausible.

One day, in fact, Beelzebub’s tauntings became so much that Debney challenged the Prince Of Darkness to a fistfight.

‘I walked down the stairs to the parking lot and I was saying to Satan: ‘Manifest yourself right now! Come on, let’s go, now!’

Mystifyingly, the Devil didn’t manifest himself but, says Debney, ‘I wished he would have’.

Of course, because in a scrap between the Fount Of All Evil and some obscure composer, there is always only going to be one winner.

Even fellow God-botherers seem sceptical about Debney’s claims, although Dan Wooding, the reporters for ASSIST Ministries news service who conducted the interview, said the site collapsed as soon as he put the interview up.

‘That never happened before.’

Maybe not, but the canteen at the ASSIST Ministries news service has managed to feed its staff for the past 13 years on just two loaves and five fishes…’

Posted: 22nd, March 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink