Anorak News | Unstoppable Sarah

Unstoppable Sarah

by | 24th, March 2004

‘OKAY, so what’s the formula for momentum? Anyone? Any ideas? Yes, that’s right – it’s mass times velocity. Congratulations! Put yourself down for an A grade in your Physics GCSE.

The style that conquered America

Why the science lesson, you ask. Has the teaching shortage in our schools got so bad that Anorak staffers are acting as supply teachers in their spare time?

Pah! You should know that we at Anorak don’t know the meaning of spare time.

From the moment that we punch in at Anorak Towers and descend into the dungeon that we call an office to the moment we punch out 16 exhausted hours later, we are on the clock.

Indeed, our keyboards are alarmed such that if our typing speed drops below 50 words per minute at any time during the day, an alarm is activated.

If Keanu Reeves thought he had it bad, he should try working here for a few days.

Anyway, we digress. The reason why it’s important that you are aware of the formula for momentum is that it provides the explanation for Hello!’s introduction of Sarah Ferguson as the ‘unstoppable’ Duchess of York.

Indeed, such is the mass that was once married to Prince Andrew that even at slow speeds she is like a runaway train. At full speed, she is literally (as the magazine observes) unstoppable.

And it is full steam ahead for Fergie at the moment, as evidenced by her appearance with the Blairs at the Pride Of Britain Awards.

‘To make such a head-turning entrance with the most important political couple in the land,’ says Hello!, ‘is proof positive that Sarah, once overwhelmed by debt and disgrace, has worked her way back to the top.’

Considering that she started at the toe 12 years ago, it’s taken a while – but now we hear that Fergie has conquered not just one American banker but the whole of America.

This might come as news to the Americans, but a couple of appearances on Larry King Live and a job promoting Weightwatchers is considered a conquest these days.

‘I call her Unstoppable Sarah,’ said an onlooker at the Pride Of Britain Awards, ‘because she just keeps on getting more and more successful.’

And harder and harder to stop.’

Posted: 24th, March 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink