Anorak News | It’s So Unfair

It’s So Unfair

by | 26th, March 2004

‘SCHOOL does not work for everyone. For every Tony Blair there is a John Major, for every Mr Chips there’s a Wackford Squeers, who achieves notoriety without a public school education and the Oxbridge mill.

You can see your face in her shoes

It also helps you get ahead if you are blessed with large blue eye, blonde hair, full fleshy lips and childlike features.

And if you get caught nicking from your employers, such an appearance will help you in court too, as the Telegraph says after looking at a report by the research company ICM.

This may well explain why we consider the swarthy, dark-eyed Colonel Gaddafi a pariah not to be fully trusted (that and his record in terrorism).

Better if Libya were in the thrall of Denise Van Outen or Jude Law, two reassuringly blonde, blue-eyed types.

But the good Colonel can recover some lost trust, not least by polishing his sandals – of the people polled, half said they are more likely to trust people with well-polished shoes – and by taking two bottles of shampoo into the shower – 60% said they equate trustfulness with clean hair.

Gaddafi could also smile broadly and frequently, since the report says people who do so are trusted more (see Tony Blair). While those who fidget, fail to make eye contact and look shifty are trusted less (see Tony Blair).

But before you, Tony and Gaddafi dash out for a bottle of peroxide and some collagen, please be aware that not all such makeovers are equally successful.

Hence, we commend to your attention, Leslie Ash, Vanessa Feltz, the Hitler Youth…’

Posted: 26th, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink