Critical Acclaim

‘CRITICISM is relative. Ben Affleck’s recent films have been such complete turkeys that the words ‘Doesn’t completely suck’ seem like high praise.

More wooden than Pinocchio’s stunt double

The Enquirer therefore is right when it says things are looking up both personally and professionally for the 31-year-old ham.

Not only has actress Ali Larter apparently replaced Jennifer Lopez in Affleck’s heart, but the buzz on his new movie Jersey Girl ‘is at least better than the dismal reception Gigli received’.

As we said, however, it is all relative.

The New York Times, for instance, says director Kevin Smith ‘has made a movie so false and blatantly icky that it’s the film equivalent of making goo-goo noises and chucking a baby under the chin for 103 minutes’.

‘At the end,’ it says, ‘all you’re left with is drool and a mountain of baby powder.’

Which might not seem too encouraging until you hear what the same paper said about Gigli -‘a hopelessly misconceived exercise in celebrity self-worship’.

Or Paycheck – ‘This smooth but bland thriller may be the best we could expect from such a collaboration, especially when Ben Affleck, an actor whose calm exterior reflects an inability to project an inner life, enters the mix’.

Or Pearl Harbor – ‘Pearl Harbor’s sound and fury signify nothing but a new kind of war porn’.

Or any of the other abominations that Affleck has been associated with.

No wonder, reports a source, ‘Ben says life is great’.’

Posted: 30th, March 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink