Snake Oil

‘IN times gone by, a bit of elbow grease was all that was needed to shift even the most stubborn stains.

‘Now what have we done with the snake?’

But polluted as these islands have been by foreign influence these days we need all manner of lotions and potions to keep our clothes clean.

However, if you really want to get whites whiter than white, forget Ariel and Persil and even Daz – and get yourself a packet of Florida Cottonmouth.

Scientists have discovered that an enzyme from the poisonous Cottonmouth snake, which lives in the Florida swamps, is more effective than any household cleaner.

“The enzyme, which is designed to stop wounds inflicted by the snake from healing, has been found to dissolve even the most ingrained blood-stains,” says the Times.

“In a scientific trial to beat every detergent advert, researchers showed how blood-stained white denim treated in snake venom outperformed the best washing machine detergents on the market.”

Fair enough – but would you want Shane Ritchie turning up on your doorstep and waving a deadly snake in your face?’

Posted: 31st, March 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink