Jade And (Ke)baby

”LET she who sheds the first stone forever be in the eyes of OK!’ For it is written.

Jade’s reading lessons weren’t going too well

And that means more news of Jade Goody, the formerly porkie one from Big Brother, who lost the show and then lost a couple of dozen pounds in weight.

This week, Jade is on holiday in Gran Canaria, cavorting on the beach in something OK! calls a ‘white hot bikini’ in an article that begins with the line: ‘Hooray, hooray, it’s a Goody holiday.’

Like us, you wonder why Jade only gets two cheers. And we wonder if it’s got anything to do with what she’s feeding her son, Bobby.

To the casual observer, it looks like his mouth is in contact with a red mini lolly, a pharmacy of additives, enhancers and preservatives on a stick.

But we who know Jade suspect something else. Is it (gulp!) a raw kebab dripping in garlic sauce?

From where we’re sitting, it’s none too easy to tell for sure, and it’d take a brave man to get close enough to get a better look, especially with that white hot bikini to singe your fingers.

So we can only wonder. And we’ll leave you with something else to ponder on as you tuck into your own nightly kebab-on-a-stick.

‘You only have two ovaries, right?’ says Jade. ‘The left one I had a cyst on but it burst.’

Enjoy your dinner…’

Posted: 6th, April 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink