Free To Air

”LABOUR ISN’T WORKING.’

Denis Thatcher sits on the right hand of God

That was the slogan, coined by Maurice and Charles Saatchi, that propelled Margaret Thatcher and her Conservatives to a 1979 election victory over Jim Callaghan.

Wind the clock forward to today and Lord Maurice Saatchi is the party’s co-chairman and, in keeping with his Conservative credentials, he’s run out of ideas.

So he wants you to come up with a slogan that could win the party seats in June’s local elections.

The Independent says that the Tories are asking members of the public to create posters and a 30-second television advert explaining why a vote for them is a vote for something or other.

For anyone wishing to enter, the brief is entitled ‘Let Down By Labour’ and will not earn the winners a penny since the Conservatives think just seeing your ideas at work will be reward enough.

They are, as ever, not wrong and, as is the way with Tory policy, it will not be long before it becomes law and Michael Howard and all his MPs have their remuneration modernised to zero pounds and oodles of kudos.

So to get the ball rolling, we’ve come up with our own Anorak commercial.

The rushes will be available for viewing soon, but the storyboard begins with a young Bambi-like deer rolling in a green and pleasant land.

A bald eagle swoops down and, clutching the deer in its talons, flies over the sand and encourages the grinning young buck to release its bowel over everything it sees.

Cut to the final scene in which the world is no more and God (Jim Davidson) asks from the ether: ‘Why didn’t they vote Tory?’

The end.’

Posted: 8th, April 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink