Anorak News | Dear Dairy

Dear Dairy

by | 13th, April 2004

‘IT turns out that when Mrs Thatcher snatched the milk out of the hands of the nation’s children 30-plus years ago, she was actually doing them a favour.

‘Double macchiato, skinny breast milk with wings’

According to this morning’s Independent, the white stuff is the latest in a long line of things thought to cause cancer.

That at least is the theory of Professor Jane Plant, who set out to discover why rates of breast cancer in the UK are 1 in 10 while in China they are 1 in 10,000.

The answer, she says, is that the Chinese don’t eat dairy products.

Indeed, the Chinese call breast cancer ‘the rich woman’s disease’ because victims tend to be people who eat Hong Kong food like ice cream and cheese.

If all of this makes you choke on your café latte this morning, then worry not – human breast milk is perfectly safe…and will shortly be available at a Starbucks near you.’

Posted: 13th, April 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink