Begging The Question

‘SEEING as Jordan has lived out every moment of her adult life in the tabloids, we wonder what her autobiography could possibly tell us that we don’t know.

‘Who’s to say that there’s not someone hiding under the duvet?’

The answer, judging by this morning’s Star (which has bought the serialisation rights), is absolutely nothing.

Jordan ‘reveals’ that she doesn’t like Victoria Beckham. In fact, we might go further and suggest that she actively dislikes Victoria Beckham.

She is, according to our top-heavy friend, ‘a cheap Essex bitch who deserves everything she gets’.

Actually, as Anorak readers will know, Victoria is in fact a cheap Hertfordshire bitch who deserves everything she gets.

We also ‘learn’ from Jordan’s autobiography that she can’t get enough of three-in-a-bed sex.

‘Can’t get enough’ might be overegging this particular pudding – she admits only to having had one threesome in her life with Dane Bowers and one of her best girl pals.

‘I’d do it again,’ she says, ‘and who says I haven’t?’

To our knowledge, no-one has come out publicly to say that Jordan’s experience of troilism is confined to this one particular occasion.

But we think Jordan might be rather missing the point of writing an autobiography.

Normally, the genre involves answering questions about oneself rather than asking them.

‘Who’s to say I was born in the tiny Somerset village of Chilthorne Domer? Perhaps I was born in Yorkshire after all? Or as some have suggested in Italy?

‘And who’s to say I wasn’t reared by wolves..?”

Posted: 21st, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink