Anorak News | Not So Rosy Future

Not So Rosy Future

by | 23rd, April 2004

‘SALLY Webster is rapidly overtaking Cilla as the odds-on favourite in this year’s ‘Mother from Hell’ finals.

A star is born

Sally has decided that “Roosey” is to become the new Charlotte Church and is grooming her for stardom. Unfortunately for Sally, just like Charlotte Church, Rosy has got herself an ‘undesirable’ boyfriend.

“You stay away from my daughter,” shrieked Sally at poor Craig in the street. “You’ll just bring her down. You’ll never amount to anything, just like yer dad. You’ll be tinkerin’ with cars all yer life.”

“What? Like Rosy’s dad does?” came Craig’s intelligent reply.

Sally’s latest plan is to get Rosy away from Craig by sending her to the Northern Drama Academy, which looks about as likely as the BBC’s Fame Academy to turn out any real stars.

“It’s either that boy or your career,” Sally told poor Rosy. As Rosy’s ‘career’ to date has been a performance in a school play even Posh Spice would think was hammy, it’s pretty obvious which one she’s going to choose.

Another deluded Street resident is Candice. At the tender age of 16, Candice is in danger of becoming the new Liz McDonald (but hopefully without the Tina Turner frightwig).

Candice and new shampoo rep Tim went out on a date after he chatted her up in the salon. Unfortunately for Candice, the date consisted of a glass of red wine in her flat and then a tour of her bed sheets.

The minute it was over, Tim was putting on his hair gel and walking out the door. “I’ll call yer, babe,” he shouted down the stairs. Indeed, “babe” is probably the only thing he’ll ever call her, as he’s unlikely to ever remember her name.

The big Corrie storyline at the moment, however, is Todd’s torturous discovery that there’s actually a gay man trapped in the body of an engaged father-to-be. Todd’s started sleeping on the sofa and wheeling out the “it’s not you, it’s me” line to poor Sarah Lou.

He’s also starting texting Karl, telling him how much he wants to be with him. “I’m not going to wait around forever,” snarled Karl. “If you don’t want me, there’s plenty out there who would.”

This week, Todd confided in his mother Eileen. “I don’t know what to do,” he sobbed movingly. “I’m in love with someone else.” “Who is she?” raged Eileen. “It’s not a she,” shouted Todd. “His name is Karl.”

And for once, Eileen was speechless.’

Posted: 23rd, April 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink