Anorak News | Busman’s Holiday

Busman’s Holiday

by | 30th, April 2004

‘ENTERPRISING truck drivers, the various uses of a pint glass, vomit in the street and sitting on our fat arses – these are a few of our favourite things.

Cliff greets an east European woman

They are the elements of British life that we who are about to pack up and leave will need to take with us if we are to recreate New Britannia on the undulating ground of the Russian Steppes.

We are going on an extended summer holiday. There’ll be no more worries about immigrants taking our jobs and eating our children, since they’ll all be here and we’ll all be there.

Sadly, however, some of us cannot make it. A few of us will have to stay behind, acting as greeters to help the new arrivals settle in.

One of these refuseniks is Cliff Richard. Although he will be terribly missed, Carol Barton will be periodically popping back to old Blighty to see how’s he’s getting along.

To date, the Mail reports, Carol has spent around £40,000 travelling the world to see Cliff perform.

“I work hard,” says Carol, a founder member of the Cliffettes. ”I don’t drink or smoke. Going to see Cliff is one of the pleasures of my life.”

“His voice is like fine wine – it gets better with age,” says Carol of her idol. “He is lovely – he has real charm and nothing’s too much trouble.”

We can only agree, and heartily thank Cliff for agreeing to remain behind while the rest of us hop aboard the No. 63 bus to Bratislava and flee for our lives.’

Posted: 30th, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink