Anorak News | Back Into The Closet

Back Into The Closet

by | 30th, April 2004

‘TODD’S ‘road to Canal Street’ gay conversion is shaping up nicely – in fact, I predict it will culminate in a ratings-boosting wedding day crisis.

‘Snog boys? No, I just snog old men’

While Sarah was in hospital, potentially miscarrying their baby, Todd took the opportunity to visit Karl in his bed-sit. “I’m here to tell ya to leave me alone,” Todd shouted at Karl – who reasonably pointed out that it was Todd who was standing on his doorstep.

“Tell me yer don’t fancy me?” smirked Karl. “Look me in the eye and tell me.”

The producers then drew a discreet closing credits veil over what happened next, but the next episode started with Todd pulling on his T-shirt. The wardrobe department had subtly put the pair of them in matching outfits a la Elton John and David Furnish.

Todd was horrified but how he’d betrayed Sarah and went rushing back to her side, even setting a wedding date (July 3rd, so set those videos).

Eileen isn’t content to stand by and see her son ruin his life all over again, though. She almost revealed Todd’s secret over a Sunday lunch with the Platts, but Sarah started bleeding and had to be rushed to hospital.

Her next move was to go and see Karl and find out how he felt about her son, a sort of gays’ Cilla Black. “Well I like him,” he admitted, “but I’m not interested in taking on someone who’s so confused.”

Obviously his “not taking on” clearly doesn’t include not jumping into bed with him, which is bound to help Todd’s mental welfare no end. For this week at least, Todd’s decided he’s straight and it’s all systems go for the wedding.

One illicit affair that has been uncovered this week though is Mike and Penny’s relationship. Fred, who’s never been the sharpest knife in the butcher’s block when it comes to women, finally worked out that Penny and Mike were more than just business colleagues.

He went round to Mike’s flat to have it out with him and discovered Penny in the bathroom, dressed only in a towel. “I came round to do some paper work and….” She trailed off, shame-facedly.

Even Fred didn’t fool for that one. “You were my oldest and dearest friend,” Fred told Mike sadly, “but all the time you were laughing at me.” Fred was so upset that he couldn’t even be bothered to repeat the sentence twice.

Someone else who’s heading for a fall is Sally Webster. She’s now started feeding her family gruel in a mad attempt to save money to send Rosie to drama school and has stuck a Taliban-style list of restrictions on her daughter in order to get her to concentrate on ‘her career’.

“Do yer think Catherine Zeta Jones got where she was by snogging boys?” she asked her daughter. Well, there’s a question indeed…’

Posted: 30th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink