Anorak News | Fat Friends

Fat Friends

by | 10th, May 2004

‘LOOKING at the Enquirer’s shot of Jennifer Aniston, the Friends actress seems to have been dabbling with something more damaging to a star’s career than Peas and eggs.

Canned laughter and the world laughs with you

She looks like she’s been eating.

But hold on a mo, this is not a shot of Jennifer as she it now, but an artist’s impression of what she will look like in 20 years’ time.

In a word, she will be fat, or “regular”, as they say in the US of A.

Of course, she will not be huge. She will look exactly like she does now – only, if current Hollywood trends persist, she will have fewer lines on a face tied on somewhere behind her ears.

The same trick is played on Courtney Cox, who is must be said looks a darn sight more appealing with a few stone on her.

However, can we really believe she will balloon to Kirstie Alley proportions? We think not.

The Enquirer’s computer wizard (who, if we may hazard a guess, might be a big-boned girl with a bad attitude) fattens up those other Friends’ cast members, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc.

A few clicks on the computer mouse and Perry and LeBlanc are fat of face and figure.

And Lisa Kudrow grows to looks like a combination of Gillian Taylforth and Willie Nelson, although any beard has been airbrushed out.

And David Schwimmer “may be grey by age 57, but he won’t lose any of his boyish charm” – an accurate assessment if the charming boy is Norman Bates.

This is all fanciful and, in some part, wishful stuff. And we will only get to know the truth when the cast of the TV show reforms for a series set in a care home in Miami called Old Friends.

You heard it here first.’

Posted: 10th, May 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink