Anorak News | Decked-Out


by | 17th, May 2004

‘“FOR more than a century, no seaside holiday in Britain has been complete without the humble deckchair,” announces the Express – to whom we are indebted for this information.

‘Straighten the back and open yer legs’

We at Anorak, like 99.99 per cent of our fellow countrymen, take our holidays as far away from the British seaside as possible, and so know nothing of “deckchairs”.

Judging from the pictures, it turns out that they are collapsible beach furniture made from lolly-sticks and gaily-striped canvas, and fit into that deathly British tradition known as “cheap and cheerful”.

That’s cheap and cheerful in the sense it was used by the government official who proposed two categories of train travel: a luxury service for businessmen and cheap-and-cheerful “for the rest”.

Anyway, the Express reports that Blackpool – the capital of cheap and cheerful Britain – is going to get rid of its deck chairs because they create a “cloth cap image”.

They have a point: one thinks of men in rolled-up trousers wearing knotted hankies on their heads and young urchins with melted ice cream dribbling down their chins, while mum sits on a blanket unpacking the fish-paste sandwiches and bread-and-dripping.

Yes, A far cry from today’s Blackpool, which is more Burberry baseball cap than cloth cap. Today’s visitors like to emerge in the sunlight about three in the afternoon and warm their piercings in their sun while relaxing on something that fits the contours of a hungover body more comfortably than a narrow deckchair.

A thick, pool of warm vomit, for instance. Believe us, it’s the future.’

Posted: 17th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink