Anorak News | Wood Floats

Wood Floats

by | 19th, May 2004

‘EVEN a GCSE A-grade physics student could tell you that Gary Lucy needn’t bother wearing a life jacket when he pootles around the sea off the cost of St Tropez.

And not an armband in sight…

Sadly, we at Anorak Towers have not even this rudimentary qualification to call upon, but have been assured by Ted the plumber that it’s all a matter of density.

Just as the flakes from Ted’s Hob Nob biscuits float in his milky tea, wood will float on water with no bother at all.

But still, Lucy is taking no chances, and straps on a white lifejacket as he accompanies his ‘gal pal’ Katie Edwards for a jaunt on a speedy little boat.

One page on and Gary’s refusing to accept that his body has less chance of sinking without trace then his career post Footballers’ Wives.

So there he is sitting in a huge orange, rubber ring, ready to be pulled along by a boat at death-defying speeds while a few of his entourage look on from a nearby yacht.

And one of the audience might have had a word in Lucy’s shell-like since he’s suddenly come over all James Bond and can be seen on the poop deck, a bottle of bubbly in one hand, a towelling robe open to the waist on his back and a huge anchor-sized crucifix on his chest nest.

If he falls in now, he might just be in real bother – although Ted the plumber tells us that Lucy could bob about with his feet in the air and head in the water indefinitely.

Except it might attract woodworm…’

Posted: 19th, May 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink