Life Is A Mask-erade

‘THERE are, of course, any number of procedures you can inflict on your body in the US of A.

Cher’s head is now kept aloft with clever use of scaffolding

And Cher is a walking advert for most of them.

Indeed, if you were to strip down the singer and Demi Moore, and chuck all the bits in a pile, you could probably reproduce two entirely new people from the mix – one with the body of a nine-year-old girl and the other with all the skin texture of a 70-year-old wrinkled, bearded crone.

But while the pair battle it out for which the witch and which the girl, the Enquirer reports that even while you’ve been reading Cher has popped into Messers Nip ‘n’ Tucks for some reconstruction.

And this latest refit is a revelation in science – this is surgery on the go.

All you need do is pop your face into the surgery and wait while the medics apply the Perfectly Taut Facial Mask, or the ‘Prect Ort Adal Ass’, as many of its fans know it by.

Then you are free to walk the streets wearing your mask for seven hours causing children to flee in terror and trying not to open your eyes too widely lest you upset the secret blend of herbs and spices.

After the time is up, Cher, and others like her (or who used to be her), can remove the mask and show their new radiant complexion to the world.

Or they can just keep the mask on. Whichever way they choose to go, the results look pretty much the same…’

Posted: 25th, May 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink