Anorak News | I Am What I Am

I Am What I Am

by | 27th, May 2004

‘CORRIE proved why it’s a BAFTA-winner this week with a genius triple-whammy on Monday.

Macho Man Jason is as straight as they come

Although we’ve known for months that Todd was coming out, no one could have predicted he’d have leapt out the closet with such gusto. “Wot do yer want to hear?” he screamed at Sarah Lou. “That Carl and I slept in our bed, that we did everything and that I loved it?”

The pressure of living a double life finally became too much for Todd and he told Sarah that he didn’t want to marry her – and why. Sarah took it surprisingly well. “It’s just a phase yer going through. I read magazines, it happens all the time,” she airly told him.

Sarah’s liberal attitude changed though when she realised that Todd had done a bit more than fill in a questionnaire in ‘Just 17’. “Don’t touch me!” she yelled. “Yer disgusting,” she ssaid, before running off to her mum’s.

Gail took the news surprisingly well. “Who told you that? Don’t be silly,” she scoffed, until she heard that Todd had made a pass at her precious Nick. “Let me at him!” she screamed, storming out into the street in her towelling dressing gown.

Todd has sought refuge at his mum’s and Eileen, being the lioness that she is, was quick to defend her son. “It’s your daughter who’s sick,” she screamed at Gail. “Two kids by two different men before she’s 17.” Conveniently forgetting of course that it was her precious son who’d practically blackmailed Sarah into getting pregnant again.

Eileen and Gail decided to settle this like the mature adults they are and ended up rolling around on the cobbles in their nighties. It was up to Nick and Jason to separate the two. Jason had just finished a shift on a building site and was still wearing his hard hat. “Oh look,” scoffed Gail, “it’s another one of the Village People.”

Jason made his feelings about homosexuality known though when he took Todd aside. “You stay away from me, as far as I’m concerned yer a dirty queer,” he spat.

Todd is set to leave the street soon, and if rumours are to be believed, Jason’s set to step into his brother’s shoes in more ways than one; shacking up with Sarah Lou. Talk about keeping it in the family.

While the shockwaves of Todd’s revelation reverberate around Weatherfield, Fred was in for a surprise of his own. Rover’s cleaner Harry was shopping for cut-price bleach in the market when who should he stumble upon but ‘Orchid’, working on a women’s clothing stall.

“It’ll be sapphires soon, not support tights you’ll ‘ave dripping off yet arms soon,” Dennis chuckled in her ear. Harry reported his discovery to an already suspicious Ashley, who decided enough was enough. He drove his father to the market, telling him that Orchid had told him to meet her there to pick out wedding dress material.

As soon as Fred saw Orchid/Stacy on her stall, the scales fell from his eyes. “Yer nothing but a common prostitute,” he snarled. “And you,” referring to Dennis, “you’re her pimp.”

Poor Fred – perhaps he should speak to Carl and see if he’s still auditioning boyfriends.’

Posted: 27th, May 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink