Anorak News | Kitten Caboodle

Kitten Caboodle

by | 2nd, June 2004

‘BIG BROTHER bosses are holding a crisis meeting over fears that Kitten could wreck the show, reports the Mirror.

Would you do it for England?

“People are s****ing themselves that Kitten will ruin things,” says an insider. “She’s becoming so militant and the rest are starting to follow suit.”

A cynic might say that this story is a sad attempt by BB to rustle up some publicity at a time when the show is trailing badly to Hell’s Kitchen, but that’s by the by. The real story comes from elsewhere – the Star, to be precise.

The paper reveals that far from being a teenage hooker, Kitten was in fact ensconced in a “posh” public school, for which her dad had to make huge financial sacrifices.

Not surprisingly, the old man is aghast at his daughter’s antics. “People’s lives are being destroyed by this,” says Mr Pinder. “Her mother has been totally distraught.”

Not just her mother, either: “There have been frail elderly relatives who have had sheltered upbringings whose lives will be ruined by this.”

One person less shocked by the furore is Kitten’s girlfriend Lianda Gibson. “She can be quite a moody person and we have a star chart at home where we plot her behaviour,” says the level-headed and not at all weird 25-year-old.

That’s a star chart, not a Star chart, by the way. Although given the success of the tabloid prayer mats in mending the Beckham’s foot, then surely the brains behind “The Official Big Brother Newspaper” could come up with some sort of supernatural device to tame the wild Kitten and save the show the nation.

Come on lads: do it for England!’

Posted: 2nd, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink