Anorak News | Absolute Insania

Absolute Insania

by | 4th, June 2004

‘IT appears that Jordan’s brief stint playing her alter ego, demure little Katie Price, is well and truly over.

Advertising space to rent

The top-heavy glamour model was back to her best on Wednesday night as she turned up at the London hotspot Chinawhite with boobs spilling out of skimpy top and bottom spilling out of tiny hot pants.

And still she was upstaged by fellow slapper Jodie Marsh, who appeared at last night’s FHM 100 Sexiest Women Awards wearing just a belt and braces.

‘And true to form,’ reports the Sun, ‘neither girl could resist flashing her shapely bum for the cameras.’

If Jordan’s breasts are her prime marketing tool, her bum is advertising space for hire – and this week it was used to promote boyfriend Peter Andre’s new single, Insania.

But where was Peter? Nowhere to be seen, says the Mirror, which reports that Jordan spent the whole night chatting to a tall, dark and handsome stranger.

‘She seemed to be really enjoying his company,’ a clubber told the paper. ‘He was introduced to Jordan by a friend and they then spent a large part of the night very close together.

‘Jordan had her arms round him and was whispering in his ear and giggling.’

Leaving aside the question of how Jordan could get near enough anyone to put her arms round them, we probe further and get the distinct impression that all’s not well in the land of Insania.

‘I only speak to him by phone really these days,’ Jordan says of her pint-sized boyfriend, ‘because we are both working non-stop.’

In fact, so hard have the two of them been working that – by Jordan’s own admission – they haven’t even slept together. Or kissed. Or met…

An awful thought, like Lee Chapman’s right fist, suddenly hits us square between the eyes – maybe the relationship is not be the beautiful romance we had always assumed but a tawdry PR stunt cobbled together by a pair of desperadoes.

If not true love, what can we believe in? Victoria Beckham’s singing? David Beckham’s fidelity? George Bush’s ability to put up an umbrella? The truth is too awful to contemplate.

Say it ain’t so, Jo(rdan)…’

Posted: 4th, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink