Anorak News | Jumping The Shotgun

Jumping The Shotgun

by | 10th, June 2004

‘WHEN Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez cancelled their wedding, we were put out.

Et tu, Marc Anthony?

We had looked forward to the do for months, and with it the chance to feast on la-di-da designer crabsticks and miniature sausage rolls.

But suddenly it was like the couple’s cheese and pineapple hedgehog wedding cake – it was off.

And then Marc Anthony happened along.

The vols-au-vent were taken out of the deep freeze, the jellied eels were given a thorough dusting and the invitations were touched up to now read Marc where Ben had once sat.

And the wedding went ahead. It was a low-key event, although the Star still found it ‘lavish’, and J-Lo and Marc were duly pronounced man and wife.

But now, according to the Star, it appears they may have jumped the shotgun.

Rumours abound that J-Lo is pregnant by her man and, being what the paper calls a devout Roman Catholic, couldn’t face the idea of having a baby outside wedlock.

But in her haste to marry, the Express says J-Lo should have first waited for her husband’s divorce to be finalised.

In a bid to rid himself of ex-Miss Universe Dayanara Torres, Anthony had flown to the Dominican Republic and untied their marital knot in a mere three days.

However, the mighty US State Department says the procedure usually takes 60 days, allowing plenty of time for either party to appeal.

‘This is very worrying for the couple,’ says an unnamed source. ‘If the divorce was not complete, then Marc is effectively a bigamist.’

There are question marks over the 60-day rule, but there is enough doubt to make us wonder as to the validity of the Lopez-Anthony union.

If they are forced to marry again, we’re not sure we can take yet another Lopez wedding. And neither are the crab sticks…’

Posted: 10th, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink