Anorak News | Having Kitten’s

Having Kitten’s

by | 10th, June 2004

”BIG Brother reject Kitten Pinder launched a ferocious attack on Tony Blair yesterday as she appeared in court,’ writes the Mirror.

The other Miss Pinder

And the words make us wonder. 1) What was the nature of this attack? 2) What was Tony Blair doing in court? 3) Is Kitten, real name Kathryn, any relation to the lovely and bounteous Lucy Pinder, toast of the Star?

Our team of researchers are investigating questions 2 and 3 and, until we know for sure, rumours that Kitten is Lucy’s evil twin and that Tony Blair was in court on a charge of being a public nuisance remain unproven.

What is for certain is that Kitten was in the dock and her attack on Tony Blair was all too real.

Appearing before the beak, one Elspeth Clarkson, in a Brighton court for failing to pay four parking fines to the tune of £225, Kitten, dressed in jeans, trainers and an anti-capitalist T-shit with the words ‘NO SWEAT’ daubed on the front, tried to explain all.

‘I haven’t enough money,’ she pleaded. ‘I left university with £15,000 of student loans thanks to Mr Blair.’

She then moved in for more. ‘Tony Blair actually said at one point he was going to prioritise education and bring back grants and stuff. Now he has introduced top-up fees.’

At which juncture Mrs Clarkson interjected. ‘I will have to ask you to stop there because it’s not of relevance to your case,’ she said.

‘I think it is,’ replied Kitten. ‘No it is not,’ retorted Clarkson.’ And there the matter lay.

As a result, Kitten must pay the fine within six weeks, or else feel the full weight of the law on her chippy shoulders.

Which could, should she protest long and loud enough, lead to her being locked up in the ‘Big House’ with a load of strangers while cameras track her every move.

And so long as we’re not expected to watch, that’s fine by us…’

Posted: 10th, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink