Bring Back Benny Hill

‘BRING back Benny Hill. Those are words we at Anorak never thought we’d say. But since we’ve said them once, we’ll say them again: bring back Benny Hill.

‘Oh no! My dress has fallen off yet again!’

So what if he’s dead, just bring him back. Who cares if his Hill’s Angels are a few excess pounds over their fighting weight these days and living in some retirement home for showgirls; dress them for action.

Is Henry McGee still alive? You don’t know? Well, make it your business to know. If you are reading this, Mr McGee, even you are welcome to come back to our screens.

You see, we’ve seen Big Brother, and it’s like watching the end of the Benny Hill Show – the bit where Benny chases the Hill’s Angels around and around with no hope of ever catching any of them – without any of what’s gone before.

There is no build-up in tension, no simmering romance, no jokes; just a chase. And whoever said a chase had an element of thrill contained within it has clearly never seen Michelle at work.

A snail with a false leg could catch the wannabe topless model up, so long as it had a penis. And then why bother chasing, because for a lump of mud, she’ll show you her tits.

And so will Emma. And Nadia. And Shell. And Marco. And Stuart. And Ahmed. But not Vanessa, however much Jason (whose tits we’ve seen) nags her.

And not Dan, who, most likely, has a pendulous pair of massive knockers tucked into his trousers.

Not that we’ll break a sweat trying to see them, though.’

Posted: 11th, June 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink