Run DMZ

‘SHHH! Can you hear that? Listen harder. Still can’t hear it?

‘Tell me what you want, what you really, really want…’

Well, we can tell you that what you cannot hear is the sound of silence. And not of the Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel variety but genuine silence, of the quiet, non-sounding sort.

And it’s coming from over there to the east, where, the Times reports, the two Koreas have turned off their ghetto blasters.

The paper says that shortly after midnight last night, the North Koreans and their neighbours in the south stopped broadcasting their mixture of slogans, insults and other antagonistic sounds over the Demilitarised Zone.

No longer will nefarious sounds designed to warp the mind and contort the senses (think of hearing the collected works of Stock, Aitken, and Waterman on loop for half a decade) be blasted across the great no-go area.

Not that the lyrics always attained the dizzying heights of I Should Be So Luck’ or the seminal statement of purpose that is the Reynolds Girls’ I’d Rather Jack.

Just listen to the closing message from the South Korean sound machine.

‘We believe, at this point, that we have faithfully served you who work near the Military Demarcation Line in our effort to open you up to the outside world by broadcasting various useful information and delightful music since we launched our programme in 1962.’

The closing address from North Korea was equally inspiring. ‘All kinds of propaganda activities within the DMZ area are being stopped. This is entirely the shining result of General Kim Jong II’s great unification ideology and guidance.’

Few will be downloading those onto their iPods to play on the beaches of Ibiza this summer.

But the absence of noise leaves something of a gap in the DMZ schedules and, while the sound of nothingness has its fans, we believe something is needed to replace it.

And surely that means it’s time to unleash the West’s greatest weapon in the war on communism.

Pick your way through the landmines and step under the search light, Victoria Beckham. The captive audience is yours.

‘Hello Korea! Day-vid and me are very solid. And here is my new single, a cover of Princess’s Say I’m Your Number One…”

Posted: 16th, June 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink