Anorak News | Virgin Births

Virgin Births

by | 18th, June 2004

‘WHEN Mary tried to explain to her neighbours in Nazareth just how she had managed to get pregnant while still technically a virgin, she got a few disbelieving looks.

‘What, she couldn’t find a nice Jewish boy?’ asks Mary’s mother

But what was something of a rarity in the Holy Land 2,000 years ago is a common occurrence in Britain of 2004, with the Mail reporting that one in five children have no fathers.

That’s a lot of immaculate conception – even the Holy Ghost must want a night off occasionally.

However, it seems that not all of these fatherless children were the result of virgin births – in some cases the father has abandoned the mother; in other cases, the mother doesn’t know which one of the local football team is responsible.

But it goes without saying that the Mail is shocked and appalled at the statistics, which are all no doubt the direct result of that unholy alliance between Tony Blair and the European Union.

“Research,” it says, “has indicated that children who grow up without fathers are likely to do worse at school, suffer worse health and face a more difficult start to adult life than those with two parents.”

Jesus is a case in point. He left school with only one GCSE in woodwork; he never had a girlfriend (although he did display an unhealthy attachment to prostitutes); he quit work and spent the last few years of his life drifting from place to place; and he eventually died at the age of 34.

How different things could have been if the Holy Ghost had stayed around and faced up to his responsibilities…’

Posted: 18th, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink